No Need to Have It All Figured Out

Hey, listen to this:

They don’t have it all figured out either.

If you’re like me, one of your biggest obstacles is you. More precisely, it’s your hesitations, your reservations, and your excessive deliberations.

You want to start a relationship, but don’t feel stable enough. Shouldn’t you be perfectly happy living alone first? Don’t look for a relationship to bring joy to your life! Enter a relationship from a position of strength. Only start one when you feel that you don’t need one.

Or you want to start your own business, but you don’t have enough capital or knowledge. Shouldn’t you have a 12-month runway? Don’t just quit your job without a plan! Build a business when you’ll really have the time for it—later. Someday. Maybe.

Don’t take risks! Go for the safe option. Think of everything that could go wrong. Think of all the things you still need to figure out!

I say: nonsense.

Yes, sometimes they do really have it figured out. Commercial airlines do. They’re on top of every single safety requirement. They have processes upon systems upon failsafes. But you’re not trying to start an airline, are you? You want to turn a friendship into a romance. You want to apply for a more exciting job. You want to move to a city that better matches your vibe.

Folks all around you are doing those things without having it all figured it out.

If people look like they’re on top of everything, it’s a facade. Everyone has issues. Everybody struggles. The difference is that some people do things anyway, despite their insecurity, inherent uncertainty, and others’ negativity.

It’s what I always tell people who are new to public speaking. They ask: aren’t you scared every time you get on stage? Hell yes I’m scared! I get sweaty, my nose blocks, my throat gets dry. The trick is doing it anyway, despite the fear. Do that enough times and, over time, you’ll almost not feel nervous anymore. Almost.

And maybe it’s not just you holding you back. Maybe it’s your friends and family members, too. They care about you. They don’t want to see you get hurt. When you take risks, sometimes you’ll fail. Failure is painful. They don’t want to see you in pain. It’s safer to counsel you not to take the risk. Better to stay right where you are, where everybody knows what to expect.

I say: you’re ready enough now. You’ll figure everything else along the way. Don’t hesitate. Jump! And report back later, to tell us about your successes and about your failures. So that we can admire you and think, “she’s got it all figured out”. Except you’ll know that’s not true. You didn’t and still don’t have it all figured out. But you went for it anyway.