You know what to do, but you don’t do it. Why not?
Just in the past two weeks, people have told me:
- My relationship doesn’t excite me anymore. My partner no longer feels special to me.
- I’m starting a job as a lawyer soon, but I don’t really want to. But, you know, I studied law, so I feel that I should take this job.
- My boyfriend never opens up to me. I can’t talk to him about my emotions.
- My boss contacts me all the time, even in the middle of the night on weekends. He expects me to respond within minutes.
In each case, the question is: “What should I do?” And in each case, the answer is easy if you take it logically.
But while the correct choice is obvious, rationally speaking, it can be difficult to take action on it. The reason is that things are scary!
I’m the first person to tell you that I have struggled, and still frequently struggle, with fear. Sometimes the smallest things scare me, like meeting someone new or asking for the fruit salad that is missing from my breakfast order in the restaurant.
I’ve managed to act despite fear now and then by paying close attention to the fear and, in particular, to whether my fears come true. You can do the same.
The first step is to realize where you are now. What change do you want to make and which fear is stopping you?
Image credit: Matthew Straubmuller