Think back to the last time someone offended you.
What did they say? Why did you feel offended? Was your pride hurt? Did someone fail to show you the respect you feel you deserve?
And how easily can we offend you? Do you get defensive? Do you pout after the slightest slight? Or does it take some work?
If someone manages to offend you, they’re hitting a spot that was already sore. If you were 100% confident in and happy with your own actions, it wouldn’t be possible for someone to offend you.
I’ve noticed that it’s not easy to offend me. It’s possible, but you have to make an effort.
By contrast, if you want to get me worked up, all you have to do is say that people should be grateful to “get” a 9–5 job with a big corporation. But offending me—that’s harder.
Not that this makes me better than others. I have plenty of pain points and insecurities. You just have to trigger them a little differently.
Back to you, though.
Do you know what your pain points are? How can someone offend you or work you up? What causes you to fly into a rage? What makes you want to run away and curse the idiocy of the person who had the gall to say that?
Knowing what your pain points are and how they get triggered allows you to be more stable and to feel calmer. It’s a crucial piece of self-awareness.
So tell me, what’s the easiest way to offend you, or to work you up?
P.S. As always, the ideal tool to deepen your self-awareness is mindfulness meditation. Start here.