How to have fewer conflicts

Ever been on a trip with someone who wanted to do different things than you?

You wanted to go hiking; they wanted to see a quaint old town.

You wanted to have a picnic in the park; they wanted to visit a museum.

In a situation like that, you might be better off doing things separately.

Yes, it would be at the expense of doing things together. So what? You’d probably be happier doing what you want by yourself (or with strangers) than doing something you don’t want with your trip partner.

Then again, if it happens often that you want to do different things, should you be spending that much time with this person?

This applies broadly, including to your work. If you’re often having arguments with your boss, perhaps you should work somewhere else? Or maybe you should even be your own boss. 😉

Ditto for conflicts with clients, by the way.

You can solve many conflicts, even huge ones, simply by changing the people you spend time with. It’s a matter of paying the price of letting go of people who aren’t a great fit for you anymore.

Instead, spend more time with people who align with your values and your preferences. It just makes your life easier.

You probably won’t find friends, a significant other, or a boss with whom you’ll never have any disagreements. But if you often have conflicts, that’s a hint and a half that you might want to spend time with different people.

There are a ton of people on the planet with whom you’ll get along easily. Figure out which qualities those people have and then look for them.

Which recurring conflicts could you remove from your life simply by spending your time with different people?

Yours,

— Peter

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