“I don’t know what I want”

Me neither! Get used to it.

Perhaps you know this isn’t it. This job, this city, these friends, this relationship, this life—it isn’t what you want. But what do you want?

It’s okay if you don’t know. That’s normal. Just don’t use not knowing as an excuse for not trying anything different.

If you never try anything different, how do you expect to figure out what you want? There won’t be a stranger who runs into you on the sidewalk and tells you, “What you want is to work for Doctors Without Borders. Do that and you’ll be happy.”

No. You figure out what you want by trying many things. When you try things, it quickly becomes obvious whether you like them.

Yes, when you try many things, some of them will not be your cup of tea. Others may laugh at you for even trying them. So what? You’ll on the right track.

How do you decide what to try? Start with: what sounds fun to you? 

If it sounds fun to go on three dates a week for a while, then do that. If it sounds fun to go on a solo vacation, do that. And if it sounds fun to try out a new sport, do that!

When you try things, keep your commitment low initially. If you discover that you don’t like something, then it helps to be able to walk away quickly.

Finally, there’s no rush. Figuring out what you want from life is a marathon, not a sprint. You do have to start moving, though.


— Peter

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