Ask for what you want.
Want better work conditions? Ask for them.
Want to go on a date with someone? Ask them.
Want to be president of your local board games club? Ask to be.
Asking can be scary. We don’t want people to know what we want. When we ask, we reveal what we want, and we believe we run the risk of being embarrassed. (The risk that when we ask someone out, they will laugh in our face, telling us they are “out of our league”.)
So step one is to accept what we want. To convince ourselves that it is okay to want it, even if others disagree.
Once we do that, we have nothing to lose by asking.